Past 48 Hours...

The past 48 hours have been the most difficult part of this conception/pregnancy process to date. This trumps the many medications, the self-injected needle issue, the countless blood tests, and the painful hsg.

It all started Thursday afternoon right after lunch. I had some bowtie pasta with vegetables for lunch. The vegetables did not look appealing so I picked them out and just had the bowties. Well, that did not sit well with me. It was the first time during this pregnancy that I got sick. And the worst part was that I was at work. Honestly, getting sick at work is such a horrible feeling. You don't know who or when someone is going to walk in. And as much as I don't want someone to hear me get sick, I know they don't want to hear it either. You feel so helpless. Plus it's a nasty thing because it's a public toilet so I wasn't getting close to it. Plus, I don't want people to know it's me getting sick because then they'll wonder why...as I was getting sick I thought to myself "oh there's no way I can hide this for another 6+ weeks here if this continues..."

After I got sick, I went for a walk to try to feel better. It was gorgeous out and the walk felt good. Later that afternoon, I noticed some brown spotting after I went the bathroom. Since it was the first time, I didn't really think much about it because the nurse said that will happen from time to time. (And I apologize if the remainder of this post contains too much information, but in order to truly document this journey...welcome to TMI) However, I noticed brown spotting for the remainder of the afternoon & even into the evening when I got home. Dan was at a Jimmy Buffett concert so I tried to not think too much about it and just went to bed @ 7:45pm. Of course I couldn't sleep and I think I drifted off around 9:30pm. I woke up when Dan called to say he was coming home around 12:30am. I had my obligatory nighttime pee & still noticed spotting. Okay, now I was really concerned. I must clarify that this spotting is very very very light in color and in volume. Again, I apologize if this is too much info...

The next morning I called the nurse at RSC on my way to work. Via voicemail, I told her what was going on and to see if there was anything I should do. A new nurse called me back almost 3 hours later, yes my mind raced the entire 3 hours! I'm shocked I got work done. She left me a message that brown spotting was normal and that it was old blood. And that as long as it wasn't red, that I shouldn't be that worried. I tried to take that in, but I continued to have spotting each time I went to the bathroom. I decided to get a second opinion and called my OB office and spoke to a nurse there.

I called right at lunch and I think I got the nurse-in-training because she was very much UNHELPFUL. She told me that brown spotting is old blood which could be brought on by intercourse. I asked if it could also be from an ultrasound which I had on Tuesday. She said yes, but not really confident of her answer. Great. She said it could also be a sign of a miscarriage. Here is where my heart sank, however it's the thought that's been circling my mind all day. I, mentally, tried to tell myself to think positive but prepare for anything...just in case. She told me that if it was a scenario where my blood and the baby's blood was getting mixed up and that my bloodtype was negative that it could be very serious. She told me to go to the ER and they can tell what bloodtype I am and if I need a shot called Rhogam. She said she really didn't want to send me to an ER where I would sit for a long time. But she said there was really nothing that could be done. And for the record, she was very unclear as to what exactly I should do or what was going on.

I decided to wait it out again. I took my walk but then during the walk I was noticing a sensation in my stomach. I don't know if it was mental because of the spotting, or walking, or legitimate cramping. I still don't. I decided to call the nurse at RSC again. I told her I was still spotting and now I had a sensation in my abdomen. 3 hours later, she called me back. 3 HOURS! I truly got nothing done that afternoon. I stared into space a lot. I actually spoke to her this time and she told me that if it's brown, then I really shouldn't worry. I should only be nervous or go to the ER if it's fresh blood. She also confirmed that my bloodtype is O+ so I wouldn't need the Rhogam anyway because I don't have a negative bloodtype. That really made me feel better. Not completely better, but a bit more relaxed.

The spotting seems to have let up a little but it's still be with me today, just not as frequently and very little. And not to jinx myself, but the last time I went to the bathroom there was nothing on the toilet paper.

So the only thing I can do is to wait until our appointment on Friday and make sure everything is still going well. Thinking positive baby thoughts as I don't want to lose our little rice-0-roni.

Warning - parents may not want to read this: but if the spotting was in fact caused by intercouse, then poor Dan... this will be a long pregnancy for him as I can't go thru this after every time we have sex.